The mission of Politically Incorrect Fun is a solemn one. It's … oh…wait!! DAMN!! I think I may have stepped in …what the? … Oh! Ohhhh!! This is f…..g nasty!! And there’s a TON of it. How the hell am I gonna get that off-a there?…back in a sec. Sorry.

HEY!! HEEEEY!! CREEP in 4G!! Look what your damn mutt–excuse me, wife–did to my new Jordans ya sack of #@%$#^%$% %&(xxx ##% !!!
Gonna shoot that animal then his dog!

Okay…uhhh, sorry ‘bout that…mission statement, right?

Yes. Our mission, by the way, it’s really just me and one or two of my split personalities here, but I think the use of the word “our” gives the mission statement the incredibly incredible credibility that you really, really, really want in a mission statement that is just so … Wibby-Wibby!! Exactly, Lipshutz!

Anyway, our mission is a game changer. It’s … what was it? … hmmmm. Oh brother, it really stinks in here now…I can’t think. Well, anyway, you can be sure our mission is mighty damn important and nearly unforgettable, too. I remember that it had a great deal to do with the growing need to ramp-up the number of shockingly cute Asian women in American society, particularly in July and August. We also believe in the universal truth that even bad jokes have a place in the world, oftentimes on my website, unfortunately. Gee, what a dumb thing to say. Ha-Ha-Ha! Shut up!!

And…so, hey Pete, like, who scribbled up top, man? Not me, ya prod. Well, it looks unprofessional. Remove it later, will ya? Don’t forget this time. Hey man, at least I wash my hands after using the toilet! Well…hey, YOU pick your nose at red lights ya disgusting pig. Alright! Alright! Let’s try to FOCUS here, shall we? Hon-uh, hon-uh, hon-uh!!

And we believe there is nothing wrong with a midget. In fact, we love midgets because they are anything but “little.” Gawks, however, should be ridiculed mercilessly because I have nothing better to do and, well, I’m over 6 feet and believe that there’s nothing better than a good ribbing. If I can think of more things to say about our mission, I’ll add ‘em, but that’s enough for right now (too much bran, ya know). Oh, pleeeease!

Wait, I did think of something else…oops…what was it? Damn, why does that keep freak’n happening? Yeah! Yeah! PET the raccoon!!!! Yikes! Majorly retarded today! Retards! Reeeetards!!! That’s what I forgot. Yes. Yes-Yes. Retards. One of my fav’s. Yes, another part of our mission is to make hostile fun of retarded people whenever possible, but “retarded” to us refers almost exclusively to lefto Ivy Leaguers who wind up becoming presidents, senators, congressional people, and anything but supreme, Supreme Court justices and not folks with a mental condition. Mental condition people often have far more character than the aforementioned (man, put away that thesaurus!) tards and, therefore, we/ I … whatever … think mental condition folks deserve far more respect. Hey! That’s deep! I can’t believe what an intallectiwal I feel like right now. Uh-oh, bran!! Oh…NO! Nice going! Reeeeal nice! You're as bad as the Saint Bernard! I do hope you plan to wash THIS time. Uhhh, the…end.

Yeah, THAT's funny. I wasn’t trying to be funny there. You and your stupid word-play. You're gonna ruin this so-called website, and then, I guess, the poor world won't be visiting your retarded Politically Incorrect Fun, will they? He-He!! Retarded? Hey, I am NOT a lefto Ivy Leaguer, dude…please take that back or I WILL sic my vicious midget friends on you and then you’ll be…well…unbelievably amused, I suppose…which isn’t much of a threat, is it?

Enough!! Enough!! I need to cuss a lot and run around the building in the big bird outfit, again. Okay. Okay. I’m glad somebody’s thinking intelligently. Fine, let's just watch where we step this time. Why?

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